Spring is That You? : Part 2

Still No....Not Quite...Kind of?

Tomorrow is May Day, the first day of the fifth month, and spring really should have sprung by now.

I started looking forward to spring all the way back at the beginning of March when I wrote “Spring is that You?” Part 1. As I wrote about the upcoming arrival of Spring, I tried to temper my anticipation with realistic expectations.

I told myself (and all of you) that It felt like spring outside, but winter wasn’t done with us yet.

Despite my best efforts, I still got excited when the weather improved….and disappointed when winter returned.

I’m a lifelong Alaskan. I should know better. Every year, without fail, Mother Nature plays this game with us. She teases us with early whispers of warmth and sunlight, before snatching it all away again.

This phenomenon is so common, we have a name for it: Fool’s Spring.

Even though I know this, I can never resist leaning in to the seductive pull of a premature spring. Alaskan winters are loooonnngg, bitterly cold and oppressively dark. By the time that first round of springlike weather arrives, I need to believe in brighter days ahead. Even if I know in my deepest of deeps that it will only last for a week. Two if I’m lucky.

That’s why I’m writing an update to the original Spring Issue. It’s been nearly two months and Alaskans have been on a hellacious, seasonal roller coaster ever since. Shortly after writing that first piece, the brief period of mild weather ended when temperatures dipped and the relentless snowfall resumed.

Breaking up is Hard to Do

Like an onion, an Alaskan winter peels off in layers and It will make you cry.

Each of those layers, ushers in a new phase of spring. We made it through Fool’s spring and second winter. We’re now enjoying a little Spring teaser leading into breakup.

Breakup happens when all the snow melts and the water left behind wreaks havoc before running off, seeping into the ground or evaporating. Think puddles that should be classified as lakes, endless mud and soppy, stinking brown grass everywhere.

This year the snow is melting at a snail’s pace. The puddles and the mud have been moderate so far. Maybe that’s the silver lining to the glacially paced retreat of winter: an easy breakup.

There’s still a lot of melting left to do though, only time will tell.

The view from my writing desk (aka: kitchen table) right now

No one is feeling the delay of spring more acutely than the school aged athletes who compete in spring sports. Due to the massive amount of snow still on the ground, the entire community has been pitching in to get these kids on the fields, tracks and trails.

Our community has four small, neighboring towns — Nikiski, Kenai, Soldotna & Sterling — with two middle schools, two high schools and one combo Jr/Sr high school, all buried in snow.

A maintenance crew cleared the track at the Nikiski middle/high school. Soldotna students, parents and good samaritans showed up in mass to clear their soccer fields. People brought skid steers, snowblowers, shovels and sleds to aid in the snow removal efforts

The first collage was taken at the Nikiski Middle/High School football field last week and the second picture was taken at Skyview Middle School earlier in the month

Kenai is relying on their baseball team. The coaches scrounged up two dozen shovels and put the players to work clearing the diamond and dugouts. Every Friday they’re rewarded for their efforts with burgers, brats or some other grilled meat. All fresh off a BBQ brought to the field and fired up just for the occasion.

Kenai Ball Fields, this week

Thankfully, local teams are finally practicing outside and competing with other schools. The spring athletics season is short here. They can’t afford to waste any more time.

Final Thoughts on Springtime in Alaska

In preparation for this issue, I googled “Alaskan Spring” hoping to find some of the spring memes that float around social media this time of year.

I was shocked by the results of my search. There before me were endless pictures of beautiful, fireweed laden landscapes with rivers, open lakes and snowcapped mountains.

When I stopped laughing, which took a while, I started to feel kind of bad. Those pictures are nothing but LIES. I pity the poor tourist that gets on the internet looking for information about Alaska in the spring and finds these pictures. That is absolutely NOT what Alaska looks like right now. Those pictures are Alaskan Summer. Like, July and August.

Here are some of the pictures that came up from my google search of “Alaskan Spring”

My friends. My dear, dear friends. THIS is what Alaska looks like right now…

Everything Is wet, brown and dirty. The lakes are frozen over. The animals are worse for the wear after a long winter. We found a dead bunny under a melting snowbank the other day. Add that to the dead baby moose from a few Easter’s ago and you get the picture. Alaskan spring is not pretty.

Unfortunately, that’s not the first springtime lie foisted on unwitting outsiders.

A while back, Febreeze came out with a new scent called “Alaskan Spring” and, let me tell you, Alaskans had a field day with it.

The local newspaper even wrote an entire article about it : Would you pay for a whiff of Alaskan Springtime?

It’s obvious that whomever was responsible for the scent had never visited Alaska in the spring. Why? Well, it might surprise you to find out that Alaskan stinks in the springtime.

Like really and truly stinks. If they could bottle up the aroma of dog poo, mildew and something rotten in your house you can smell but never find, that’s Alaskan spring.

Here are a couple of hilarious Amazon reviews of the Alaskan Spring Febreeze scent

Visitors Beware

So really, don’t come here in the spring. Not because we won’t have you — you’re always welcome — but you will be sorely disappointed. It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s smells bad and you’ll want to go home.

This year we have the added benefit of snow that might linger until June. Schedule your trip wisely.

I think that pretty much covers it. I pray I won’t be back in a few weeks with another Spring Update for the Game of Thrones style, never ending winter.

For now, I’ll leave you with those springtime memes.

Luckily, we are now somewhere between Third Winter and Actual Spring